dear diary

2011-12-19T00:28:00.003+08:00

Second thoughts.

Commitment is really a scary thing. Being so close to that certain someone, its gonna sounds cheesy but its like having literally another half of you. Its bittersweet at the same time. I don't really like the idea of not being able to control my emotions but lets cross our fingers and hope that this is worth the ride.

2011-09-30T09:52:00.003+08:00

I'm so scared of you leaving. Going back to her. Everytime you speak of her name, its as though you're reminiscing something that i can never be a part of. i know you loved her, i know the cut she left was deep. so i cant help but think, you still have feelings for her. it has come to a point where everytime her name pops up, all i can do is pretend i'm fine with it when it hurting me inside. i'm afraid that if i told you that i hated the fact that you still talk to her and talk about her, you'll get annoyed and just walk away from me.

i hope i'm your choice, not just an option. cause even if it hurts like hell, i'll walk away. it's all or nothing for me.

2011-08-29T19:26:00.002+08:00

Dear diary, its been 2 months since i last updated. Its been a short period of time, but numerous things had happened, good and bad. somehow i do hope someone would come to this small space of mine and read, understand what im going through right now. but, no i dont think so. anyway its been awhile since i decided to open up. and i hope i dont ruin it. i always ruin perfect moments.

random and abrupt ending. but imu.

2011-06-01T13:12:00.001+08:00

I miss my life. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss not working. I miss just hanging out and chilling at home. I miss how everything use to be.

2011-03-09T16:31:00.001+08:00

Drag my lips across your chest just to feel your heartbeat.

2011-02-26T09:11:00.002+08:00

My face is horrible. I'm not gonna lie. I act like I dont care. Everyday I wakeup and make myself feel better by telling myself it'll get better. but it never does. Everytime I look into a mirror I die alittle inside and I just wanna cry.

Why is this happening to me.

2011-02-09T22:23:00.002+08:00

There is always a time when you feel so useless and insignificant to the point that all you want to do is make someone happy. As long as that person is happy, you are.

But my question is, are you really happy?

2011-02-08T23:43:00.004+08:00

My mum is seriously pissing me off. FKING BRAINLESS SHIT.
I'm tired of getting involved in her petty squabbles.

I really need a break, away from this house, away from work, away from everything.
I wish i can just disappear.

2011-01-26T10:36:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I just don't get you.
your actions and the words you say clashes.

2011-01-24T09:57:00.003+08:00

Being skinny helps. Most of the time.

2011-01-16T17:24:00.001+08:00

I want to fly away to somewhere far where no one knows me and do things i never had the courage to do.

2011-01-09T09:54:00.000+08:00

Day One.

2011-01-01T00:09:00.001+08:00

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011.

this year please let me slim down. thats all i ask for.

2010-12-31T00:03:00.001+08:00

Every beginning has it's ending. Every ending has its beginning.
So it's not the end, its just a new beginning.

2010-12-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i think i miss 'us' more than i miss you

2010-12-22T21:49:00.002+08:00

How many times had we forgiven people who doesn't deserve our forgiveness, just because we still want them in our lives?

2010-12-18T12:33:00.000+08:00

yesterday was one hell of a night.

2010-12-17T10:36:00.001+08:00

Goodbye 18, Hello 19.
today's the first day, please treat me well!:)

2010-12-14T09:57:00.002+08:00

Fake scenes and plastic dreams.

2more days of work. days just seems to blur pass recently. i have no concept of time and day. work is all i feel that my life is about currently. i think i really need to go out and chill out sometime soon. make it faster please.

i've been eating like mad and gaining weight like no one's business. it's really depressing to be living like this. if this is working life, i wish i wouldn't have to work all my life.

i feel the urge to start smoking. that's bad. and yes, work is that bad.

2010-12-08T12:35:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was totally shopping haven. Brought my maid our to shop at town since the WHOLE family is now at genting, enjoying themselves. I thought we should too. Bought some new stuff to wear at work. Managed to NOT step into Kinokuniya. that place is banned till 9th Dec to 24 Dec. Storewide 20% off yo! Gonna spree like siao~

starting tomorrow is my 8 days consecutive work week. I hope i dont die in Tech base.

everyones gonna come back tomorrow, hope i got SOMETHING from them. but nah, dont think so.

tumblr's down again. I'll update a picture later on.

2010-12-01T11:03:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling like a book-worm now. im itchying to buy books and read books. I just wanna camp at home and read till my eyes drop out.

im at work now btw.

anyways, Hello Decemeber. Please treat me well and fly past.

-editted-
just first day and i'm feeling crappy. thanks december!

2010-11-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

I'm annoyed and disappointed.

2010-11-25T09:37:00.004+08:00

well, works been busy. SUPER busy. thus explaining the lack of updates here. I've never been one to update it often anyways. so other then those spammers and virus who reads my blog, who knows who else reads it.

anyway this week I'm claiming my Public holiday. so i'm gonna get 3 days off. after today, its 2 days of lazying around! then sunday its back to work again. can't wait for sunday though, means ITS PAY DAY! i'm in serious need of money, i want to buy so many things so badly. my chanel wallet, my hermes bag, my thailand and hongkong shopping trip etc etc.

i need to chill out reall soon. my face is getting worst, i'm getting fatter. nothing seems to be turning out good during this internship period, other than getting paid a measly sum for doing a whole shitload of work.

i don't even have time to catch up on my dramas, music, entertainment news etc etc. fml.

and travelling to harbourfront everyday is no joke, dressing up for work everyday with the amount of clothes i have is also no joke.

all of a sudden, i'm feeling sad again. hate this when it happens. now i just want to sink in the background, melt in my wallpaper and just disappear for awhile.

2010-11-18T20:52:00.003+08:00

What i need for my birthday? Clue: MAKEUP!

I'm pretty unstable these few days, super moody one second, pissed off the next and laughing like a mad cow after that. crazy I know.

Internship is going fine, other than a few hiccups, I pretty much love my job.

btw, selamat hari raya haji?

Look below! baby's cute right:)

2010-11-15T16:12:00.002+08:00

Tumblr is annoying the hell out of me now. can't even post baby's picture:(

thank god for facebook and blogger~

Handsome much~<3

2010-11-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

Marry me please~

2010-11-10T15:04:00.004+08:00

Hi people,
i just had this random feeling of wanting to post something. so anyways people always ask me why can't i take a nice picture, like not do a weird face. I do that cause i feel ugly, dont ask why. IDK!

and if you don't alreaady know. i've got a fetish for pretty girls. maybe that's why i feel even worst about myself

i know i got some serious self issues to attend to. i need to learn how to get over myself. i can't help it. im afraid of myself, i dont want to end up having depression.

2010-10-30T17:06:00.001+08:00

Off day today, slacking at home's my newest hobby now.

It's totally random, but I feel like going for liposuction. after internship?

2010-10-18T21:17:00.001+08:00

2010-10-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

The guilt is eating me up.

Today's my off day:) and i finish personal preference! like finally

cute show!

First time i think he's cute, maybe its cause of the hair and the character in the show.

anyways work tomorrow! and i got a craving for yummi yogurt.

p.s. my mum is totally pissing me off.

2010-10-05T10:15:00.002+08:00

That's what friends are for.

Yesterday was an awesome day! anyways on friday after my work, i rushed over to tryphena's house for a last minute stayover. totally fun~ just us against the world! all the bitchy and trashing of people:)

then next day, we went to parkway! which i havent stepped in for like a thousand years. and just nice, fel was there too~ so after T and Y went home, i met up with fel, jim and chan for dinner:) then it was a walk aorund parkway again, with ice cream at jim's favv ice cream place. then home.

fking smrt seriously, the circle line was screwed up, so i had to take the green line and change it at city hall then change it a bishan just to get home-.-

work today, and for the next 5 days straight!

goodbye world.

2010-10-03T09:40:00.002+08:00

I've never been one to settle, so I won't start now.

If only my family was this harmonious. I wouldn't wish for more.

2010-09-29T17:51:00.002+08:00

I need serious help getting over you.

I'm working this weekend. great life!

2010-09-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

I never stopped loving you, i just stopped showing it.

Today my first day doing morning shift, i had time after work to walk around vivo for awhile. Forever21 of course. i tried on this dress, or so i thought. i was still thinking why isit so short. then i went home and searched for it online. turns out its a top. -.-

But its nice right?

2010-09-25T11:00:00.003+08:00

Absentmindedly make me want you.

a short post before going to work today. last day of week 3:) soon it will be ALL over.

cant wait for next tuesday, pay +results + results money. isn't it the best! just hope my mum honors her words for the results money!

anyways i have a tumblr now, try and find me:)

Im really broke, because of candilicious and USS super star store. i love buying sweets and chocolates and biscuits for others. i love watching them eat! it makes me feel happy.

lastly, I CANNOT BINGE! I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT!

i want those legs~

2010-09-20T22:56:00.005+08:00

Someday you'll miss me.

off day today:) and yesterday. i got plenty of rest and met alot of people i missed.
yesterday i met fel, pris, jim, chan and sean.t for mos burger at tamp! its been awhile since i went there, nothing's changed. fel bought lyechee martini mooncake from hyatt there, NICE TTM. GO TRY!

and chan's being high on lyechee martini mooncake drove me all the way home! thanks guys for the wonderful 3hours or so. after i reached home i managed to rest and sleep~ then at night im off to OG with my family.

and today, i went to gym early in the morning. tried out bishan cc's gym. totally bad choice, im like the youngest thing there, even the machine looks older then me. it was weird~

after like 30mins run, i couldnt stand the place and left, i went home and rest then im off to meet pris for shopping:)
for dinner it was with tania and beng. PONTIAN WANTON MEE~ ate too much seriously super full now.

2010-09-17T23:24:00.004+08:00

I'll chase you for awhile. But there's gonna be a day when I'm gonna stop running in circles around you.

I'm gonna get over you, and at that moment you're gonna wish that you had let me caught you.

my sore throat is so getting better:) im a happy girl~

todays my off day, andd i went shopping with TLWX today! miss her soo much! we finally had a chance to meet up and shop around town and bugis for my office clothes. ilu babe! thanks for accompanying me<3

after that i met up with TVHQ to bishan~ we love bishan-ing. LOl we had time to sit and chat, most of the time is me talking. sorry babe, i'll listen more next time. and thanks for listening. its our little secret:) and she passed to me my new blazer from bonito<3>

so yes, theres work tomorrow, but i've got sunday and monday off! and my this week's log book is already done. left with tomorrow's section. i have a feeling my log book's gonna be boring starting from next week. cause everyday is just repetitive.

2010-09-13T09:54:00.004+08:00

Cause im so bad, but i'm so good.
my sore throat is totally killing me. idk how to face my boss later, how i suppose answer calls with my voice like that.

2010-09-10T16:19:00.001+08:00

isit really me?

2010-09-08T22:34:00.002+08:00

Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just <3.

todays the first day at USS:)

we got to sit some rides, like the freaking scary 'Revenge of the Mummy'

went to our own individual departments, i hope i dont screw my job up.

wish me luck~

2010-09-05T18:51:00.003+08:00

Through the heart of a hurricane.

attachment starts tomorrow. fml.

anyways i fully enjoyed my weekend, met tons of fantastic people:)

Drink, Drank, Drunk. i was a goner on the first day! never ever again i swear. next day stomach was feeling like crap. thank god for no hangover.

Phuture and Nana with my fellow ET<3

photos are up on fb, if you're invited to view good, if not. too bad.

2010-09-01T21:42:00.003+08:00

I'll miss you when i wake up.

why is a raven like a writing desk

How can someone pull of a look like this! totally fell in love ONCE AGAIN with Johnny Depp after watching Alice in Wonderland.

I would totally stay in Wonderland with him if he asked me:)

2010-08-29T12:33:00.002+08:00

i really dont like my family. (hate's too strong a word)

they are rude, self righteous and egoistic. they are only nice to outsiders. when there are people around they will nice and polite saying all the pleases thank yous. but when no ones around, they order you like you owe them, like you're suppose to do so.

and when theres nice food, they'll just eat. they wont bother asking. even when im the one who made it. and they will only eat those that they think is nice. and they will criticize it. it's not nice. like hello, its not for you. even if i have extra. you should have asked. rude much.

i hate people who dont say their pleases and thank yous. they always say what you act at home reflects on how you are outside. then obviously they are rude people outside.

2010-08-26T23:44:00.006+08:00

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream.

2010-08-26T12:44:00.002+08:00

If looks could kill, we all would be doom.

i kinda finish studying for all three papers already. my notes are like SUPER summarized. just cant be bothered so write down some common sense stuff. everything's in point form. so i can just read, understand and memorise it. easy~!

2010-08-24T22:28:00.002+08:00

Dougie Poynter from McFly!

2010-08-23T17:19:00.000+08:00

credited to photobucket.com:)

2010-08-19T17:33:00.006+08:00

Sexy with a capital S

No.46 & No.12 sexist man of 2010. Alexander Skarsgaard and Chace Crawford respectively.

how can J.Bieber top them and land in no.7?! someone please enlighten me. its sexist MEN for gods sake.

thank god! Ian Somerholder landed in no.3 and Taylor Lautner landed right infront of him in no.2<3

AND obviously Robert.P landed in TADAH! no.1. why do girls like him anyways. well~

They can be my no.1 anytime<3

I would post more if i'm not so lazy.

Head on down to www.glamourmagazine.co.uk for more hunks like Aston Kutcher and David beckham!

Find out who outranked who and even dig out any new eye-candies on the way:)

2010-08-15T13:20:00.000+08:00

Happiness is about spreading the joy to people around you.
ilu and i hope you feel it too.

2010-08-13T21:24:00.002+08:00

why isit everytime when i need someone, they're always not there. why isit not matter how much i treasure and trust someone, when i need them, they'll never be there. why isit that everytime im here for them, they're never there for me.
today i realise no matter how high i place someone in my priorities, i'll never be their first.
tonight i shall let self-pity take over, let me submerge myself in my own sadness.

this is not a post calling for pity or attention, nor isit to blame people. its just for me to let out all that i've kept inside for a long time.

Treasure those you have around you, cause you have more then i do.
For that i envy.

2010-08-13T14:09:00.003+08:00

I'm not one to showcase my emotions to the world. I'm not good at expressing myself.

I know i need improving on my people skills. it'll take time.

2010-08-10T19:17:00.003+08:00

another day of lazing around. at least i managed to finish my V.Diaries.

Damon.S is smoking hot i swear.

such a cutie~

i gotta start studying soon-ish.

2010-08-06T20:31:00.001+08:00

todays the last day of school! woooo~

just finished my Coffee House/Page One

so cute right!~

2010-08-05T23:38:00.002+08:00

its officially the last day of school. after tomorrow there'll be no more HS0804.

funny how time flies when you take no notice of it. two and a half years just breeze through like this.

no matter how much conflicts we have, how many differences we have. im glad to have all these people accompany me through this tiring and often crazy years. no matter how much we complain about each other, they will always play a part of our growing up process.

eh wait for a minute now! IM HAPPY THAT THERES NO MORE SCHOOL! no more shitty people etc etc. you know who you are:X

so anyways for the good times and the bad. cheers. you will be missed<3

2010-08-02T20:25:00.003+08:00

its the last week of school! 2 more project submission and 3 more presentation. cant wait for all these to be over. i can so imagine my first week of 'study' break:)

2010-07-27T20:43:00.005+08:00

I hate it when my name is used just for the sake of making others look better infront of others. I hate it when you pull me up then throw me down. YOU did both.

Family is suppose to love you for who you are. Did you?

Family is suppose to be there for you whenever and where ever. Were you?

Family is suppose to believe in you no matter what. Have you?

So who are you?

2010-07-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

Boy, that's just low.

i find it hard to not give personal attacks to people like -. but i managed to keep it down for a whole good 2 years. the rollarcoaster - has brought me through is totally out of this world. From frustration to anger to guilt to disappointment sometimes i find it in me to forgive them. but the ride just starts all over again. it's truly tiring when you have to face such people in class everyday giving them the smile when you are actually cursing and swearing with all your might inside.

Theater as a metaphor thats what Ms Ooi had taught us, and it truly is beneficial to a certain extend in work as well as in life. as what she also said, we are all SHARKS, one day we are all gonna go out in the working world and compete with each other. so with this in mind, even though - brings me through what i call a rollarcoaster of hell, i am happy. why you may ask. because i know through this journey i have to take up with all these shit, and i had learnt alot more, maybe more then what i want to. but still life is a learning process, yadah yadah yadah.

anyways my point is, i will definitely go further in life then - will. so i hope - continues to wallow in their self-pity, self-righteousness as well as ignorance, for the benefit of people like me, who takes up his shit work.

so for all who are currently facing such shits in life, be gracious. we do more, we learn more. even though its hard to think that way most of the time, especially facing with such shits (i dont wanna refer them as human beings). use this to calm yourself down. dont go down to their level, cause you know you are so much better than that.

This is so inspirational, by my standards of course. i have to congratulate myself for it:)

2010-07-24T23:48:00.003+08:00

I know I'll get on top of you somehow.

After all the projects stressing me out last week. i finally had some time off to myself.

Finish 'Club Dead' by Charlaine Harris and got started on her next book in the series, and i finally got to catch trueblood season3. it was terrific! can't wait for the next episode.

today is like total vampy day for me:) not that i object.

Completely gratuitous:)

Someone tell me he's NOT hot and i'll beat your ass!

He's 34 this year and still looks so smoking hot! please marry me. age is just a number if it's you.

2010-07-20T23:23:00.003+08:00

I don't expect you to remember. I don't expect you to know. I don't expect you to feel. I don't expect you to see.

but I just want to tell you i still do. I still remember. I still know. I still feel. I still see.

Imu. I will always be standing right here where you left me, waiting for you to come back to get me.

friends&lovers alike, this is for you.

2010-07-18T12:23:00.003+08:00

I'll leave so you can live.

night fes is so fantastic, it messed up my body clock and messed up my weekend and MESSED UP MY PROJECTS. well at least i manage to meet some new awesome people, and get to bond with my awesome girls:)

i couldnt go out to stjames on friday night cause of it and i couldnt go out with fel and co. the next morning cause i was so tired and i need to do my projects:(

another 5-7 more projects? im sick and tired of doing projects i can vomit on the sight of word documents-.- yes it's that bad!

so now im waiting for ANY project groupmate to send me ANYTHING so i can start doing SOMETHING. cause im totally done with my parts.

~~If only~~ time passes slower or we can have more then 24 hours per day.

i promised sean.t no more IFs:)

project deadlines here i come! senses the sarcasm please.

2010-07-09T20:09:00.003+08:00

Since you never notice the way that we belong, i'll sing it in this love song.

NO MORE! no wait, theres more-.-
tomorrow will be rest day for me. anyways other then the presentation today, i also signed my contract for attachment! happy much. im damn excited to start work, and STOP project:)\

2010-07-08T21:26:00.002+08:00

finally tomorrow everything will end, and congratulations, you are the first bloody ass form class who manage to seriously piss me off to the extend that i flare up.
thank god i exercise self control and believe in karma, or i would totally tear your head off on the spot! bloody self-righteous and stubborn bastard:)

2010-07-07T23:45:00.002+08:00

i have a mom that looks and talks down on me everytime i wanna do something. im so sick and tired of hearing negative in my life. maybe thats why im so negative. with all the things i hear everyday, i find it amazing how i can survive without ever breaking down infront of anyone at home.

2010-07-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

some people seriously need to learn how to clean their own ass. seriously if even in project you cant do your simple parts, WHY ARE YOU ALIVE? seriously just go bang wall or something. like hello, you're year 3 already, don't you realize!

and seriously stop. being. so. UN-initiative. if you dont want to do your part. FINE. i'll give it to people who actually give a shit about the project and guess what your tasklist will be EMPTY. yes thats what im gonna do starting today, dont expect me to give you the task after i split it. if others are done, why are yours not done? and seriously i give most of the bloody shitwork to myself! and i can be done like what THE FIRST.

dont waste my time chasing you anymore. i dont have all day and this is not my only project.

if you're not happy. DEAL WITH IT.

2010-07-05T20:15:00.000+08:00

I GOT FKING SLIVER FOR NAPFA! awesome much~

2010-07-02T10:08:00.000+08:00

Today is fking NAFA day! awesome much-.-

i love my life.

2010-06-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

Lady gaga looks gorgeous here!

credits to xinmsn

2010-06-24T23:20:00.005+08:00

Personality test results

Ta-dah, your personality type is ENFP!

Extraverted (E) 61%	Introverted (I) 39%
Intuitive (N) 59%	Sensing (S) 41%
Feeling (F) 75%	Thinking (T) 25%
Perceiving (P) 68%	Judging (J) 32%

http://kisa.ca/personality/

ENFPs account for about 2–8% of the population.

ENFPs are lucky in that they're good a quite a lot of different things. An ENFP can generally achieve a good degree of success at anything which has interested them. However, ENFPs get bored rather easily and are not naturally good at following things through to completion. Accordingly, they should avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks. They will do best in professions which allow them to creatively generate new ideas and deal closely with people. They will not be happy in positions which are confining and regimented.

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

2010-06-23T14:51:00.003+08:00

I bake when i think too much, to get my mind off things i dont want to think about.
因为你已是过客

Baking was a success!:)

look at the muffins and cookies~ hungry much?

After coming back from Bishan with the packaging stuff:)

cant wait for all of you people to try it. looking lovely much?

2010-06-22T23:03:00.001+08:00

A: You're a bitch! You know that!

B: I know. but I'm awesome too. You know?

2010-06-21T22:09:00.001+08:00

should i smile because we;re friend, or should i cry because thats all we'll be?

how i wish i can use that line.

2010-06-21T17:49:00.004+08:00

Envy vs. Jealously

So whats is it that i am feeling?

you're like an accessory thats nice to carry out and show people, thats all. i know it. but there are times when you develop feelings for your accessories. thats when things go wrong.

2010-06-20T00:27:00.005+08:00

I KNOW RIGHT!

Felicia said i should have more confidence. IKR! i want it too. but where are you my confident?!

so for today onwards, I AM A SUPER MODEL! lol.

The two predictions i got today on fb.

Yuanlin sweetheart, in the next week changes will take place for the better especially now that your admirer realized that your heart is sincere.

Yuanlin dear, wonderful changes could happen in your life right now - you're doing well professionally and personally. Your outgoing nature could assure you many happy hours with someone very special.

If only~

2010-06-18T17:09:00.004+08:00

St james, ladies night

it wasn't a total waste of time at least i got to catch up with some people:)

me and fel met at CQ to go to arena for awhile before we head over. even though with ZERO alcohol i still manage to get high on the dancefloor. crazy right, i know!

had a little baking session just now. i nearly died. my taste buds are permanently gone, thanks to the excessive tasting. next baking session, next week?

i hope i pass at least 1 interview please. i hate interviews and i suck at them.

2010-06-15T22:00:00.003+08:00

i think i screwed up my interview on Monday. GREAT WORK. at least that was the ONLY thing that sucked that day:)

anyways tomorrows gonna be another one. hope i pass~

2010-06-13T16:17:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow's my interview, wish me luck.

Amora's love prediction said

'your heart will always make itself known through your words.'

if so, do you know my heart?

2010-06-12T22:23:00.001+08:00

When we were young

photos will be up on fb:) can't wait!

i love T's toilet, it has great lighting and SPA! awesome shitzxz.

2010-06-12T13:26:00.003+08:00

its time to let go.

so last night was my first time at butter. it was...not bad i guess. not much comments, but at least i had some fun after a long while. and it helped me decide on some stuff. its the holidays now. but we still have projects to rush and i have another interview on Monday. hopefully i pass this one, i really dont want anymore interviews coming my way.

after yesterday, i think i can fully let go. these 2 years, of watching you from afar to chatting to you on facebook. i guess, you're not worth it and i hope a better one will come by soon. even though its saddening to not being able to know you better, to be friends. but after last night, i realize im not as into you as i though i was. you're just someone nice to look at. even though i have many negative feelings towards you now, i will remember the times when i can just look at you once and my whole day brightens up. its a beautiful memory and i want it to stay that way.

Only time will tell.

2010-06-09T16:57:00.002+08:00

hello. facebook's being a bitch as usual. so ive decided to come blog. after that REALLY emo post i posted. this should be a much better one.

anyways i really really think karma's my bestfriend. i mean have you ever heard of karma treating you well? often when im being nice and all, nothing happens. but something miraculous happen yesterday. i had a bitch fit. and then TADA! todays like the most awesome day in my year3 life. till now i mean.

i hope this luck continues for awhile:) it really made my day. even though my CRM sucks today.

2010-06-06T08:20:00.002+08:00

'Maybe cause i know you'll aways be with me' - Inconsolable

I woke up this morning choking on my own tears. its been awhile since i have a dream as vivid as that. and of all days, today, my granddad's death anniversary. maybe it signifies something. i dont know. but i'm gonna dedicate this post to you, even if you wont ever see this.

Im sorry for the countless times we quarreled, im sorry for the countless of disappointing moments, sorry for the countless nights ive been away knowing you're at home worrying about me, sorry for all the shit i gave you for no reason.

And even if i dont say it, i miss your hugs, i miss you praising me for the littlest things, i miss talking to you about everything in the world, and most of all, i miss you.

As time pass, people grow older and we tend to stop. stop talking, stop showing affection, stop being a family. thinking back of all the lovely times back then, how i wish i could reverse the hands of time. how long has it been since ive held your hands and not feel ashamed, how long has it been that i gave you a warm hug. even so, i couldnt bring myself to tell you all these, cause of my pride? i dont know. but these words choke inside, it can all be summarized into the simple three words that i can never say it out loud. even though i can't and won't ever say it out. i still hope you do know.

ilu.

2010-06-03T21:06:00.002+08:00

love is blind

Often i tend to put myself down infront of the person i like, i will never feel that i'm good enough for them. i'm getting sick of this.

2010-05-31T21:30:00.004+08:00

내 때문에 미쳐

2010-05-29T19:34:00.002+08:00

Funny how the smallest things in life actually matters so much. so dont give promises you cant keep, you dont know how much a simple promise matters to another. dont make them have expectations just to put them down. it hurts.
its only times like this that you find the only comforting place in the whole house is the bathroom, where you can just stand there, let the water run and for a moment, time stops for you.

Dont tell me i have everything, cause i have nothing.

2010-05-29T14:07:00.004+08:00

Baby, its now or never!

its another long weekend:) and Great Singapore Sales is here. have to start shopping soon! went to town with mum yesterday and i was so tempted to get a Burberry bag! but i didn't. so mum said i can go on a spree on intimates later on today:)

i kinda finished up all my projects, they all just needs minor adjustments and additions onto them. so i guess im free to go shopping soon! but there's still 2 tests coming up. next week and next next week, then its the HOLIDAYS! can't wait~

Credits to deviantart

2010-05-21T14:41:00.006+08:00

projects are starting to pile up ONCE again. today is another Friday off from school, cause its GRADUATION! next year it'll be my turn. wonder how it feels like.

totally have no mood whatsoever to do any thing today. feel like just stoning the time away, i think thats what i'll do:) finish 1 book this morning already!

the day before was my RWS interview. hope i get it! we'll only know after 3-4 weeks. nervous much! i hope i get to work at the ticketing or the operating attractions department! no sweeping floor please, and no children's corner i'll literally die/rot there.

Credited to deviantart!

2010-05-13T22:13:00.003+08:00

i hate going to your blog. cause it reminds me how far behind i am in your life. it makes me feel like a part of your past when i still want you in my present.
as time passes we found out that friendship is a fragile thing. its never gonna go back to being, you saying 'don't friend you already' one moment and us holding hands and apologizing the next. i guess its a process of growing up, people do grow apart. but still, imu. and i hope you do so too.

forever and ever<3

2010-05-09T22:00:00.004+08:00

school finally started. the first week had past. it was well, boringg. the only good news was we will only have 3 exams this semester! awesome-ness or what?!

BUT we have 8 mods with TONS of projects. i can feel the stress piling up already.

we had our first friday off. so i went out! it was great! shopping, eating and clubbing. like finally a fun day! thanks to all those people who were there. but i know most probably no one will be reading this:(

ohya! and happy mummy's day to all females out there. we all know we are gonna be a mom one day. it sucks, i know. imagine our kids giving us as much crap as we are giving to our mums. deadmeat. went shopping with my mum and that annoying brat today. it was fun somehow:) but super tiring and torturing thanks to the muscle ache i've got.

and i found out that there is this CHOCOLATE buffet at Fullerton Hotel every Friday and Saturday! i should go one day. but first DIET! :)

fel babe, i hope you're feeling better now. you'll most probably won't see this but i'll just type it out anyways. i don't know how to help you feel better and i'm not good at saying out how i feel, but if you want to go crazy or just want company i'm there for you, cause that's the only way i know. we're all there for you when you need someone, in our own ways, so you don't need to suffer alone.

ilu, even if you wont ever know.<3

2010-04-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

hey peeps, its been awhile again. well things we fun for the last few days/weeks. I've been going out more often and obviously been done ALOT of shopping. my small closet is gonna burst soon, i have to start controlling myself. In addition i worked for 2 days @expo FHAsia, really fun!

went out for karaoke today @serangoon gardens with class peeps. first time there, really fun. pictures up on fb soon!

schools gonna start for us soon, and those who had started last week i hope you're doing fine:)

the results and timetables are all out. im sorta satisfied with what i have, but my timetable really sucks. well what to do~

2010-03-16T21:35:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i blogged. during the past few weeks ive gone to bkk for a short shopping trip, had a mini fight with my parents, went out with most of my friends, spent some time with the family, worked for a day, got my first ever credit card, though through my life and future, watched tons of dramas and read some books.

thats how i spent my holiday condensed in a paragraph. something missing? YES! i havent clubbed.
anyways as the days pass, the results are coming out soon too. nervous much? and after that, schools gonna start again and im gonna start my life as a year three. stressed? maybe. but i know im definatly feeling old.

In life, people come and go. Its those who stay behind that matters, 'cause theres always a reason why they didnt go with the others.

2010-02-16T19:43:00.003+08:00

im finally back from my short trip from m'sia. first time ever in a family suite! we had cable tv!:)

living room!

two bedrooms:)

aned the toilet! there was a jaccuzi beside the shower. but i didnt get a nice picture of it:(

i didnt buy anything much. but i bought vera wang's rock princess:) nice! im in my perfume-spree mood again. not good!

anyway im looking forward to the bkk trip:) i wanna get paul smith's perfume! and clothes and shoes and everything!

2010-02-13T00:29:00.004+08:00

last paper ended today and its offically the HOLIDAYS~

couple date with tryphena after the paper:) because somebody left us, you know who you are!
we caught VDay:) it was awesome full of taytay love and other hot people! mad love. you guys should definately watch it~ i mean look at the amazing casts! what more can you ask for this coming valentines!

http://www.valentinesdaymovie.com/

2010-02-09T10:19:00.006+08:00

Editted-
anyways the exams starts this week, and im down with one paper, finance. today's will be MICE. can't wait for all to be over.

Credited to whoever

2010-01-31T22:06:00.001+08:00

Even if it hurts so much I will still love you.

i started studying:) im a good girl what can i say.
i'll try to finish 2 module's notes tomorrow. TRY! and i gonna have to strart on my finance soon:(

2010-01-30T14:03:00.003+08:00

sometimes i hate it when i get pissed off at someone who i cant get pissed off at-.-
i'll die young at this rate. internal injury.

will you be my valentine?

2010-01-28T21:58:00.002+08:00

if only you knew.

i swear im gonna start writing my notes tomorrow! i am going to become a full fledged nerd! starting tomorrow!

2010-01-27T08:14:00.001+08:00

whatever happened to private and confidential?!

2010-01-25T20:04:00.002+08:00

there has to be a reason why you're not here anymore.

projects are finally all gonna be done! last presentation on wed:) happy happy!

but exams are coming~ all the burdens of projects are finally of my shoulders and now i have to get ready for exams! are you kidding me!

2010-01-24T00:53:00.005+08:00

my projects are finally all done! three cheers for me. seriously! i have to do like most of the project, without my groupmates around. craziness!

anyways i have to start writing notes for my exams after teachers give me hints to study. 1more week till the start of exam and 2 more weeks till the end of exams.

reports will be due on monday, tuesday and thursday.

presentation will be on monday and wednesday.

Sometimes, you cant stop yourself from hoping for yesterday to come back, especially if yesterday was the only future you ever wanted and needed from the start.

2010-01-19T23:11:00.001+08:00

i am currently super stressed up with fked up groupmates.
sucks to be me. my exams are coming and my project deadlines are coming.
and i just realise i only have 1 week to study for my exams. GREAT! seriously

ohya to add on, my finance project got a C! yes you heard it, C! omfg man. OHMYFUCKIN'GOD

2010-01-13T18:27:00.002+08:00

I'm scared to speak to you first because i just feel like i'm annoying you :
(thats how i feel about you)

exam timetable's OUTTTT. omg first paper is the killer finance!
monday 8feb all the way till 12 feb. everyday one paper. they just wanna kill us or what! seriously!

we have like less then a month to study, and guess what! we still have 6 projects now. with 3 dueing this coming week and the week after! great! WITH presentation! mad serious!

but our hols will offically start BEFORE CNY:) so we can like PARTYY~
please let me get out of this alive!